It’s the Little Things

As you know, I’ve been feeling a little down lately about not having the kind of quality time I would want from a relationship.  It’s a tough balance to know what you should expect/need from a long-distance relationship; it is really truly unique to each couple.  There have been a few Peace Corps long distance relationships I’ve heard about firsthand where the boyfriend was abroad and the girlfriend was back in the states, and they decided to speak about once a week, or every two weeks.  That method was not for me. I know how I am after two days without talking, so two weeks seemed incredibly difficult.  In both cases, I heard the relationships ended, and the guys found local girls to date.

When you enter a long distance relationship, particularly with someone in a situation as unique as the Peace Corps, you have to make a decision; are you in it for real?  Are you in the long-distance relationship because you want that relationship to last, or are you only in it with a half-hearted attempt, knowing it will probably end.  My bf and I were both clear with each other about what we’ve wanted from the beginning. We found each other (which doesn’t happen every day), we love each other, we have fun together, we help pick each other up and are stronger because of the other–and so with that kind of rare find, we knew we wanted to give our relationship every chance to succeed, which meant as much communication as possible.

Even though I voiced my frustrations and my sadness over the past few days, I also started looking at ways I could help myself power through and not rely as heavily on him.  So this weekend, I made plans for myself.  I took more control of my own social life, made sure I wasn’t sitting around feeling lonely.  Meanwhile, I still felt this nagging that I still wanted a little more from my bf, and that there were only so many ways I could help myself—but I also didn’t want to dwell on it too much, since I had already voiced my frustrations, I just wanted to keep going.

The wonderful thing about telling a guy exactly what you need, is that sometimes (more likely than not) he will actually give you exactly what you need.  This week he proved to me that he has been listening and cares about how I’ve been feeling, which made me the happiest girl ever.  First, we had quality, quality video Skype time—which in short was…wonderful.  We talked for two hours and during that time, we both talked about our daily experiences, creative projects we’re working on and just overall had a lovely catch up session.  During that time, he also made it a point to skip a daily meeting he usually attends (which is not mandatory but makes him more active in the community) and the best thing of all, he made sure that we would have time to have a date this weekend!  He even asked me when I would be available, and even though he had other social events available to him, he wanted to make sure that the time we picked would be good and convenient for me, regardless of his other events. I felt incredibly loved and felt like I/us was the priority, which made me feel all warm inside and thankful.

So tomorrow we have our date, morning my time, evening his time.  I will eat sugary cereal and he will eat dinner—and we will chat over our meal, and then we will watch a romantic comedy together that he recommended.  I am super excited about our date, and even happier about all his wonderful thoughtful gestures. Now the only worry I have is hoping that his power stays on!

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