ME Time in A Long-Distance Relationship

When my boyfriend decided to join the Peace Corps, and we concluded it would be better if I stayed, I tried to look at the positive.  I told him I wanted to make a list of things to do when we were back together to look forward to–he suggested I make a list of things I wanted to accomplish while he was away.  I never really made either list, maybe just mentally have taken some notes, but as his time in the Peace Corps is wrapping up (he is five months away from his official end date), it has made me wonder if I have accomplished all I wanted.

When you are in the Peace Corps and you hit this wrap up time , you wonder if you’ve done everything you wanted, if there is still more you can do in this time left and I’m having the same thoughts/reflections.  It’s interesting, I’m not sure what I really expected my time to look like with him in a different country–maybe more girlfriend time?  While I definitely have made more of an effort to have more friend time, work and extra interests have kept me really busy–which honestly would have probably been tough if he had actually been here.

The weekends are always the most challenging and maybe most unexpected time.  I guess I thought I would get more girl time on the weekends, but I haven’t really been too interested in girl time at bars/clubs; it’s not really my thing and because I have a boyfriend, the idea of drinking and being picked up on by men has zero appeal to me.  I have, however, enjoyed movie nights with my friends, going to see plays or bands or the rare bar night out.

What this time apart has given me the most of is ME time, especially on the weekends.  A regular occurrence for me has been a Friday night with a massage at the spa after work and take home sushi, so I can go home enjoy a glass of wine and a trashy TV show.  Not super glamorous, but really good indulgent me time. When I reflect on different periods in my life (ie. college, the summer where I went to the movies every Saturday morning by myself), I smile thinking about how I will look back at this time in my life when I am even more grown up and wistfully recall the time of Friday spa and sushi nights. So maybe I have not gone to the classes I hoped to attend while my boyfriend is away (there is still time!), but I also have carved out a really nice period of my life where I have been incredibly indulgent in myself and the luxuries around me. Do I know I’m spoiled? Yes! Do I appreciate it? Definitely, yes! But I also have to say I feel so incredibly lucky to have had this time to spoil myself, to focus on me.

When you’re single, your time alone has a different feel–you miss having a partner, you do things to meet “the one”, or maybe even do things to make yourself more interesting, or distract yourself.  When you are in a long-distance relationship and alone, the things you do with your time are more focused on what really interests you, which is such a gift.  Don’t get me wrong, I really cannot wait to have my boyfriend back in the same city, and share kisses and conversation in person, but since I try to stay positive in my life, I look at our time apart as the period in my life where it was all about ME.