My Boyfriend Lives In Kenya

So the last week has been a struggle for me.  I am definitely feeling my boyfriend’s absence and it is tough.  I hate not being able to be stronger about him gone, but honestly I am struggling.

To be specific, I am feeling alone and not being in the same place has started taking its toll.  We have been apart at this interlude for five months, and by the time I see him next it will be seven months.  I know we can make it, that I can make it (we are more than 75% through his time in the Peace Corps) but it’s just tough right now for me.  I miss my partner, I miss my friend and I miss my boyfriend.  I want to share my bed at night with him again, and I want to have conversations that are not restricted by my work schedule, his classes, bedtimes or our time zones (Kenya is ten hours ahead of California).

And the amazing thing is that we have video Skype, we are so fortunate. We get to see each other almost every day.  I guess maybe we (I) got spoiled. For a while we were seeing each other on Skype twice a day, once in the morning and again at night. In the last few weeks though, due to his schedule and then my vacation and then his schedule, our time has been limited, and I’ve started feeling the effects of his absence.  It’s no one’s fault, it’s just the circumstance and I’m feeling a bit frustrated and sad.

I also don’t like how this struggle affects me and then subsequently him. I don’t like being the needy girl who needs her guy to be there, and then by voicing it makes him feel bad.  Again, I wish I was stronger right now, but I also need to remind myself that it’s only for a few more months, and also that for the most part I’ve done pretty well in 20 months; so a moment of sadness here and there is okay.  I just wish he wasn’t so far away, so we could just have a weekend together here and there.  Above all, I wish the person who is working on the teleporter would hurry up already; there are people in long distance relationships that will be overjoyed once it’s finished.